Local Mom Bribes Vo-Tech School [satire]
Local Mom Bribes Vo-Tech School
A mom bribed a local Vo-Tech school to admit their daughter. The mom said she handed the school’s admissions officer an envelope which contained $950.00 in cash because she wanted three things: 1) To ensure her daughter gets the best possible truck-repair instructors money can buy, 2) she figured the school could use the money and wanted to benefit other students, and 3) she wanted to emulate rich parents in Southern California who pay big bucks to ensure their kids are successful. “I believe my daughter can be just as successful as those rich kids in other countries. Err, states,” she said with a grin as wide as the Grand Canyon. When asked if it was worth getting thrown in jail for thirty days, the mom answered, “There’s no sacrifice too big for our darling daughter’s career.”
“I can see that you are willing to do just about anything for your daughter,” said the reporter. “Is there anything you’d like to add?”
The woman gave her husband a sharp elbow in the ribs. “Well, I’d just like to say that our darling daughter looks forward to a lifetime of keeping the big rigs which haul food and fuel and clothing in working order. She feels like she’ll be making a valuable contribution to society – the necessities of life. One day she hopes to work on electric tractor-trailers. You know, the “big Green Machines aren’t too far off,” he said with air quotes. “But until then, she’ll just have to be content with getting a little grease under her fingernails.”
“Sounds like a noble ambition,” said the reporter. “But let’s hear from the little lady herself. What makes you wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat? What drives you and your parents to violate every norm of decency as you strive to make the world a better place to live?”
“You got to pay your dues in the black and brown before you get to work on squeaky-clean green,” said the teenage girl with a broad smile.
The reporter looked away. “Sounds racist to me,” she snorted.
“How is that racist?” asked the dad. “She’s talking about trucks.”
“White-privileged monsters!” sneered the reporter, turning her back on the family and looking directly into the camera. “These folks are obviously too stupid to see how they are identifying with and culturally mis-appropriating the Hulk’s unfortunate situation while at the same time denigrating great heroes like Blade, the Black Panther, Hancock, and Frozone. When are we going to really get to color blind?”
A school official said the school was going to admit her without the bribe.